Joan Murphy to Dan, 20 Feb 1995: Grandma Murphy's arranged marriage to 'a much older man'; the foremost shoemaker

Murphy family papers · private family correspondence · 1995-02-20

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Summary

James's daughter Joan sends Dan the family tree she typed in 1979 and three older papers, and adds what her aunt Terese told her. Two statements bear on her grandfather Patrick. Terese "did tell me that Grandfather Murphy was the foremost shoemaker in Ireland before he emigrated to America." And of her grandmother Ellen: her parents had "arranged" a marriage between her and "a much older man", Joan's grandfather, whom she had never seen until she met him at the altar on their wedding day. "A much older man" fits a husband born in 1850 (Ellen was born between 1859 and 1863) better than one born in 1858. Joan was born nine years after Patrick died, so this is a family story at second hand. The enclosures: (1) "Murphy Family Tree 1979", typed, covering the Kelly and Chatham side and James's descendants, not transcribed because it lists living people; (2) notes headed "The Chatham Family", dated May 6, 1949, in Agnes Kelly Murphy's hand, with a few lines on the Murphys; (3) Terese Murphy's letter to Imelda of 20 Sept 1971, filed on its own; (4) the "Murphy Family Tree 1967" chart, filed on its own. The writer's street address is left out of the published transcription.

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Also mentioned

  • Jan · wife_of_the_recipient
  • Nellie Stafford · cousin_of_agnes

    Added in pen to the 1979 tree under Aunt Emma.

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Transcription
transcription: partial · confidence high
# Joan Murphy to Dan, 20 February 1995 *Typed letter, one page, with five pages of enclosures. Transcribed from the scan on 4 October 2026. The letter is given in full except for the writer's street address. Of the enclosures, two are filed as sources of their own, one is described, and the lines of the fourth that concern the Murphys are quoted. Square brackets hold the editor's marks.* [street address omitted] Anaheim, CA [zip code omitted] February 20, 1995 Dearest Dan: It was wonderful seeing you and your darling Jan and boys yesterday. It also was a real treat to see so many neices, nephews and their children present. Still think we have the greatest family anywhere! Am enclosing the extended family tree I typed in 1979. The only additions (in pen) are the date of Agnes' death and Nellie Stafford under Aunt Emma. I know you remember Nellie as Mom's favorite cousin, who was an only child. I am also enclosing a copy of some family history in Mom's handwriting, which she sent to Imelda in 1949. Thought you might like something in her writing. Am also enclosing a letter Aunt Terese wrote Imelda before she and Jack went to Ireland. She was a spinster teacher all her life – very intelligent, travelled extensively, played golf, loved to walk but could be VERY difficult. She is the one I inherited my otosclerosis from but of course, she could not control THAT. Whenever she was in this area, she stayed at the Biltmore Hotel in Los Angeles and I would drive in and take her to lunch and learn more about my Dad's life and her memories. I did not appreciate her hurting Mom's feelings and, I understand, when your family lived in Seattle, she was unkind to Jim and Marie – which in my book was unforgivable and ununderst andable. She was probably THE person in my life who taught me the value of non-judgmental acceptance. We never got into discussions of other people. Somehow she knew where my loyalties were and she never treaded into that territory. She did tell me that Grandfather Murphy was the foremost shoemaker in Ireland before he emigrated to America. She always wore beautiful shoes and as a child, that was what I remembered about her visits to our home. I love shoes as well. Will close now before I get any more nostalgic. In reading over Terese's letter I noticed some typos concerning her father's health. I believe she meant "suffered a severe stroke three years before I was born." Incidentally, Dan, Grandma Murphy was madly in love with some young man but because her parents had "arranged" a marriage between her and a much older man – my Grandfather – as was the custom in those days, she married him and had never set eyes on him until she met him at the foot of the altar on their wedding day. Cannot imagine such a thing and I always felt sorry for her after hearing that story! REALLY will close. Nice visiting with you! Much Love, Joan [signature] ## The enclosures 1. **"Murphy Family Tree 1979"** (page 2). A typed chart: Christopher Chatham and Mary Breen; John Chatham and Kathryn Ryan and their children; John Kelly's children; James J. Murphy's children and grandchildren; and an "Addition to family of Patrick Murphy | Ellen Lyne": James J., Terese, Dan, and "Twins (Deceased @ childbirth)". Not transcribed further, because it lists living people. 2. **"The Chatham Family", May 6, 1949** (pages 3 and 4), in Agnes Kelly Murphy's hand, headed by Joan "Mom wrote this". It is about the Chathams and the Kellys. The lines on the Murphys, at the foot of the second page, read: "(Dad – J. J. M.) was born in Co. Cork Ire. Had an uncle who had a store in Ardgroom or Eyries; Grandma Murphys name was Ellen Lynne, his father P. J. Murphy. That is all I know of all my ancestors –" 3. **Terese Murphy to Imelda, 20 September 1971** (page 5). Filed as `1971-09-20_terese-murphy_to-imelda-murphy-bryant`. 4. **"Murphy Family Tree 1967"** (page 6). Filed as `1967_murphy-family-tree-chart`.

Dotted underlines mark key terms on first mention — hover or tab to one for a reference note. The wording is the source’s own.

Open questions

  • Agnes's 1949 note says James "had an uncle who had a store in Ardgroom or Eyries". The uncle has not been identified.
  • The 1949 notes and the 1979 tree have not been filed as sources of their own.

Source ID: 1995-02-20_joan-murphy_to-dan-murphy

Reference: Typed letter of one page, dated February 20, 1995, signed 'Joan', with five pages of enclosures: the extended family tree she typed in 1979; family history in her mother's hand sent to Imelda in 1949; a typed copy of Terese Murphy's letter to Imelda of 20 Sept 1971; and the Murphy Family Tree chart of 1967.

Accessed by lukedmurphy on 2026-10-04.